Insane in the middle of the nite....

Insane...insane...insane....
I`m now totally insane... 
for god sake.. i still can`t fall in sleep rite now... 
now already 6.00am...
and seriously... i still can`t place my head on my pillow ans my eyes are as bright as the star in the nite sky... 
oh god... what is the matter.. and what is this all about... 
why i can`t just fall in sleep in and having my sweet dream like other million people out there...
and why should i just have to be forsaken in the middle of the nite by not sleeping in  my lovely bedroom but still "on air" in my study room... ><" 
and the worst thing ever is i have to make myself wake up at 9 something in the morning and prepared my self to go out...
and now there`s still left me couple of time to rest my eyes and brain... 

but the POINT is I`M still NOT TIRED n I`M still AWAKEN....
and I`M soon INSANE.... ><"

DAMN IT.... SHIT IT OFF MAN....!!!! 

The "bottle" almost full....

" We can close the ears and eyes that we don`t want to see or heard
But we can`t close our heart to the things that we don`t want to feels"

It is true and soooo true....
Why i say so...
Cause if we can do so...
There wasn`t so many people commit suicide...
There wasn`t so many people finding the ways to run away....
AND
There wasn`t people CRY in the middle of the NITE...

Why do they cry... Why...
It is because they feel lonely...
The feeling that they do not wish to feel from the heart...
The fear, loneliness, unpeaceful, and worried....

I don`t know how many times
I had been told to myself
"Julia STOP crying in the middle of the nite"
But it seem can`t work....
The tears just fall down and it really does....

And

I also had been told myself that
" Julia hold it on... Ya... just hold it on... Just believe you can do it..."
"Julia everything will pass very fasts... Ya... Just let go let it be....Let`s forget everything...."
"Julia let give yourself a chance... everyday is a new day and there is a hope..."
"Julia....."    "Julia...."   "Julia...."

In fact,
All of this just make me feel more sick... and more loneliness....
It make me feel that there is no one for me...
And it is true... just so true....

Do you ever think of Commit Suicide....
Yes... I Do...
Ya, I do think of it seriously....

Maybe I would not die now but Somedays I will.....

Tik Tok...Tik Tok...Tik Tok....Tik Tok...
The "bottle" almost full............

真的很累了...

其实
我很累了

我习惯假装坚强

习惯了一个人面对所有

我不知道自己到底想怎么样

有时候我可以很开心的和每个人说话

可以很放肆的
可是却没有人知道

那只不过是在伪装  很刻意的伪装

我可以让自己很快乐很快乐

可是找到的却不是快乐的由来

却只是傻笑的过着每一天

有些事

有时候不是不懂 只是不想懂

有时候不是不知道 只是不想说知道

有时候不是不明白 而是明白了也无能为力

于是就保持了   沉默...

有些话 适合藏在心里

有些痛苦 适合无声无息的忘记

有些回忆 只适合偶尔拿出来回味

很多事情 当经历过了 自己知道就好

很多改变 不需要说出来的 自己明白就好

YumMy~ ^^

Errr... ><"
          Oh No... I`m HunGry~~ ><"
                        Chef Chef~~ What is our MeNu FoR 2daY DeSsert~~ ^^"

Ok~ Let`S Bake SoMe CrEam PuFf For ThE DesSerT~~ ^^

     

1....2....3....4....5....6....7....8....9....

Tik ToK....Tik tOk.....tIk toK....TiK ToK...

 CheF Chef~~  I`m Done~ 

     Wakaka~ ^^

YeS~ ^^
Is TiMe To EnjoY~ ^^  

 Hehee~~ 
It LoOk NoT niCe~~ 
   YuMmy~ ^^

By tHe WaY
    HaLooo PpL~ !!
  ThAt`s SwaM anD StRawbeRrY ChoCo PuFf Is MiNe K~ ^^
    The ReSt yOu CaN TaKe~ ^^
  HeHee~ ^^

原来如此

一个人久了     会不敢恋爱

一个人久了     会越来越喜欢听歌
一个人久了     会常常发白日梦

一个人久了     电话会常常忘记带

一个人久了     会养成一个怪癖

一个人久了     对爱情会越来越挑剔
一个人久了     对所有的节日大多没什么期待

一个人久了     听到看到别人一对对的很甜蜜心里多少还是会有些介意

一个人久了  会越来越不会照顾自己, 因为没关系没人会在意的
一个人久了     会喜欢买很多无谓东西，带自己去很远的地方

一个人久了     都不喜欢去戏院看戏

一个人久了     做事只需跟自己交待

一个人久了     计划未来的东西都只是一个人一个人久了  心也放空了 
一个人久了     开始会自言自语了

一个人久了     会习惯孤单寂寞

一个人久了     什么都不重要了

真的很难

只想要那份屬於自己的真實邂逅
不會去痴迷於王子   只要我的那個他
只是想找個懂自己的  願意陪伴自己的
只是想找個懂自己的願意陪伴自己的那个人而已
真的有这样难吗….