The "bottle" almost full....

" We can close the ears and eyes that we don`t want to see or heard
But we can`t close our heart to the things that we don`t want to feels"

It is true and soooo true....
Why i say so...
Cause if we can do so...
There wasn`t so many people commit suicide...
There wasn`t so many people finding the ways to run away....
AND
There wasn`t people CRY in the middle of the NITE...

Why do they cry... Why...
It is because they feel lonely...
The feeling that they do not wish to feel from the heart...
The fear, loneliness, unpeaceful, and worried....

I don`t know how many times
I had been told to myself
"Julia STOP crying in the middle of the nite"
But it seem can`t work....
The tears just fall down and it really does....

And

I also had been told myself that
" Julia hold it on... Ya... just hold it on... Just believe you can do it..."
"Julia everything will pass very fasts... Ya... Just let go let it be....Let`s forget everything...."
"Julia let give yourself a chance... everyday is a new day and there is a hope..."
"Julia....."    "Julia...."   "Julia...."

In fact,
All of this just make me feel more sick... and more loneliness....
It make me feel that there is no one for me...
And it is true... just so true....

Do you ever think of Commit Suicide....
Yes... I Do...
Ya, I do think of it seriously....

Maybe I would not die now but Somedays I will.....

Tik Tok...Tik Tok...Tik Tok....Tik Tok...
The "bottle" almost full............

真的很累了...

其实
我很累了

我习惯假装坚强

习惯了一个人面对所有

我不知道自己到底想怎么样

有时候我可以很开心的和每个人说话

可以很放肆的
可是却没有人知道

那只不过是在伪装  很刻意的伪装

我可以让自己很快乐很快乐

可是找到的却不是快乐的由来

却只是傻笑的过着每一天

有些事

有时候不是不懂 只是不想懂

有时候不是不知道 只是不想说知道

有时候不是不明白 而是明白了也无能为力

于是就保持了   沉默...

有些话 适合藏在心里

有些痛苦 适合无声无息的忘记

有些回忆 只适合偶尔拿出来回味

很多事情 当经历过了 自己知道就好

很多改变 不需要说出来的 自己明白就好